On Thursday I departed for Bredenton, Fla. where Joe Nichols would preform a benefit concert for my sisters 3 kids. I worked third shift on Wednesday night, flew out at 9 a.m. Thursday, arrived in Tampa at 3 p.m. (after a 4 hour layover in Charlotte), got the rental car and drove the hour drive to Bradenton. I then got my hotel room and was ready to crash. There was no time for that, it was already about 5 and had to shower and be at benefit at 7. Its amazing what you can do with no sleep when needed.
The benefit went smooth and I would estimate over 20,000 dollars was raised for my nieces and nephew. Woohoo!! I am sure they would rather have their mother but it was still a great success.
I went to this benefit because I wanted to. I felt that I had to be there. It was not a pleasant experience as I really do not know anyone there. As I said I hadn't been a real part of her life in some years. I did a lot of wandering around this HUGE country bar alone. Her family and friends were as hospitable as could be expected but I really felt alone. Her ex husband was quite friendly and tried to "babysit" me. He and I shared tears together as they showed the slide show of her. Her children show no interest in knowing me. I know it uncomfortable for them though. I do understand. I stayed until about 11 and then said bye to her ex and seen myself to the door.
I was never so happy to see a bed in my life. I crashed.
The benefit went smooth and I would estimate over 20,000 dollars was raised for my nieces and nephew. Woohoo!! I am sure they would rather have their mother but it was still a great success.
I went to this benefit because I wanted to. I felt that I had to be there. It was not a pleasant experience as I really do not know anyone there. As I said I hadn't been a real part of her life in some years. I did a lot of wandering around this HUGE country bar alone. Her family and friends were as hospitable as could be expected but I really felt alone. Her ex husband was quite friendly and tried to "babysit" me. He and I shared tears together as they showed the slide show of her. Her children show no interest in knowing me. I know it uncomfortable for them though. I do understand. I stayed until about 11 and then said bye to her ex and seen myself to the door.
I was never so happy to see a bed in my life. I crashed.
I spent the next day (4th of July) on the beach relaxing in the sun and thinking of her. When time to leave there I realized I locked the keys in the rental car. Hectic!! There was an hour of waiting for triple A.
I spent that evening at my sisters best friends 4th of July bbq. Her and I talked about my sister for about an hour and she gave me mine and my dads share of her ashes.( I never knew anyone who was cremated but I still think it strange that they divided her ashes up into 20 small earns and distributed them through the family. ) We shared different stories about her and cried some then I left.
On my way back to the room I decided to drive by her house one last time. Then I decided to stop in the driveway and then decided to get out. I turned the door knob and it was open so I let myself in. The place was a disaster area. Most things have been moved out but "stuff" was just strewn about. I found a card from the man who killed her which expressed how much he loved her and wanted to take care of her forever. It was a very nice card and he couldn't have sounded like a nicer guy. It just makes me wonder how this much love could lead to such a tragic ending.
Though what he did was a terrible thing I have to believe that he was really sick and pray for his family too. My heart bleeds for all involved. It was a great loss, I'm sure for our family as well as his.
I left early the next morning and was glad to arrive back home the next day. I would be ask if I enjoyed my trip and my answer was no, not at all but I'm glad that went. I learned a lot and would like to become closer to those who were close to her, as dysfunctional as it all is.
I learned things about her brother that makes me feel the need to make him apart of my family. But that's all for another day.
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