BF continued.....

Okay so what I found out after he asked me to marry him. On Christmas eve day we spent most of the day together buying some last minute gifts. We were suppose to be at my parents house at a certain time (he had not yet met my family) and he said he had some last minute gift to buy for me. When really he had to go buy a heart shaped necklace and take it to someone else he was secretly seeing. It took him 3 hours and he was an hour late getting to my parents house. Well she went to work the day after Christmas bragging about the gift to someone who was friends with my friend and low and behold I was told. He was cheating on me when he asked me to marry him. The story goes like this. He had fixed his 2 best friends up and they were getting married. He was the best man and "the girlfriend" was the maid of honor. They were only friends and he just felt sorry for her because her boyfriend had just broken up with her. The bride and groom best friends were having them both over for dinner and he was spending all sorts of time with her. It hit me that the night of the brides baccalaureate party I had gone out with friends. Well the place we intended on going to was dead so we went somewhere else. As we were walking in he was walking in also. He had not even said he was going anywhere but there he was. The BF told the guy that was with my friend, "why did you have to bring her here of all nights?" It didn't make sense then but after I received this information it all came together. She was there and he was there to see her and me showing up messed up his plans. He even danced with her rite in front of me. (fast danced with a few of the members of the baccalaureate party). All this and he tells me they were just friends....... Just friends, then why had I never heard her name before. Why was he hiding her? Because it was more than a friendship, he must have really thought I was stupid. He still says it was just a friendship but he also says he was only doing it because he knew I was still e mailing with my x bf and she was his back up. WTF.....What? He needed a back up "friend" to replace a girlfriend if he lost her. YEAH RITE!!

Anyway after hearing this I called him and told him I just wanted him to know that I had taken my x boyfriend (who i was still e mailing with) a Christmas gift while he left me on Christmas eve and I was feeling guilty about it and hoped it was okay with him. (of course I hadn't) He understood exactly what I knew and the begging started again. I'm sorry I love you i never want to be with anyone but you. I only talked to her so much because we were trying to decide what to buy the bride and groom for their wedding. UH isn't that something you should be talking to me about? Why would you and her buy them anything? I then called and got a copy of his cell phone bill to see exactly how much he was talking to her but of course he had stopped and picked it up before I got there. still hiding things.

Well his best friends wedding was on new years eve and of course they couldn't figure out why I didn't want to go. DUH can you say S T U P I D ? He still went to the wedding and escorted the b**** down the isle and I spent New Years eve alone. He actually called me from her cell phone that night. POS. Said his phone was dead and he was just looking for me. MY ASS!!

Again I forgave him but things have never been the same. Let me start by saying I was more in love with him than I had ever been in love with anyone in my life. He was the only person I had ever had sex with that it ever felt like love. I could keep my eyes open. I could look into his eyes and see nothing but happiness. I never even noticed I was naked with him. I was school girl giddy with him. Everyone dreams of their wedding and he had just shattered those dreams. My wedding was the price to be paid for his two best friends wedding.........

Enough for now its depressing me. I don't realize how much this one event has changed my life until I write it and read it back to myself.