Unintensionally avoiding simple

Mr. Simple and I haven't seemed to cross paths as much as I would have liked.
With my class reunion coming up my best friend and I spent most of the day Friday shopping and getting hair and nails done. By the time we were done it was time for me to go to work (I am a third shifter)

On Saturday I slept until 1 and when I got up I realized I forgotten to get a bra to wear with my dress and it took most of the day to find it. I got home about 3 30 and showered and was ready for the reunion by 5. My bf and her husband picked us (yes the boyfriend went) up and we were there by 6 10. It was actually a pretty good time. There were still some of the same clicks but for the most part it was a good night out.

Sunday was spent recovering from Friday night.

Monday I did clean my room and drag a few things out of the drawer to get rid of. So that was a slight glimpse of Mr. Simple. I must try harder to get to know this person.

Does anyone notice that I avoid the subject of the boy friend. I think its because one, I don't have time to write it all, two, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it, or three I don't want to face the reality of it. If I write it all out and read it to myself I may have to face it. UGH!!!

Who is Simple?

I've decided to try to get back on track of my day to day life on this blog. I always seem to stray and lose track. T says I have too much going on in my life and its time to simplify. I don't know simple. Don't believe I have ever met that person. Can someone please introduce me to this Simple?

First off T says, " to simplify means to let go of things". Starting with the things that drain me of energy so that I have enough stamina to deal with the things I must. I've started this process by letting go of material things first. Cleaning out closets, e baying things to get rid of them. Its a small step in getting to know Mr. Simple but it is, after all a step.

The next step will have to be the people in my life who are unhealthy for me and drain me of my energy. Its a toss up between my daughter and boyfriend. They both drain the hell out of me. I know the daughter must stay so does that mean the boyfriend must go so I have enough energy left to deal with the daughter. Really one does not have anything to do with the other. Daughter is very demanding of my attention. She has a very low self esteem and needs constant re-assurance from me. If I don't tell her where I am its like she's the mother. She calls all over town looking for me. Its like she has a fear that I will abandon her. The boyfriend on the other hand is a whole different story. I will hit more on him tomorrow as that will be time consuming.

To wrap up, I plan to spend a lot of time trying to get to know this Mr. Simple. But I really don't think he and I have much in common. It may be a short lived relationship.

VACATION, NIAGARA FALLS, & CLASS REUNION

A trip to the beach was exactly what the doctor ordered. It was good for me. My daughter, son and sons girlfriend, niece and boyfriend all went together. Also another couple and their daughter went along. We all had a wonderful time in the sun. It was a relief from work and school for me. We went deep sea fishing, to the NASCAR park, the amusement park, the water park, ate out some and ate in some. We spent lots of time in the ocean this year boogy boarding. The condo was great. Two bedroom, two bath, kitchen, eating area, living room and a balcony with a great view of the ocean. There was no drama. WOW not even one argument between the kids.

While laying on the beach I had some time to think about what to do with my share of my sisters ashes. I remembered her saying that she always wanted to go to Niagara Falls and I know she never got to go. So I was thinking maybe that would be a good place for me to spread her ashes. I'm afraid that my dad wont like that idea. I think he wants to bury them so he has a place to visit. Her wishes were not to be buried though. I'm not sure if she meant just not to bury her body or not to bury her ashes either. Maybe Ill call and talk to her husband and get his opinion.

On another note my 20 year class reunion is coming up soon. Again I'm having problems with the boyfriend so it looks like I may be going alone. UGH!!

My trip to Joe Nichols benfit for Pams kids

On Thursday I departed for Bredenton, Fla. where Joe Nichols would preform a benefit concert for my sisters 3 kids. I worked third shift on Wednesday night, flew out at 9 a.m. Thursday, arrived in Tampa at 3 p.m. (after a 4 hour layover in Charlotte), got the rental car and drove the hour drive to Bradenton. I then got my hotel room and was ready to crash. There was no time for that, it was already about 5 and had to shower and be at benefit at 7. Its amazing what you can do with no sleep when needed.

The benefit went smooth and I would estimate over 20,000 dollars was raised for my nieces and nephew. Woohoo!! I am sure they would rather have their mother but it was still a great success.

I went to this benefit because I wanted to. I felt that I had to be there. It was not a pleasant experience as I really do not know anyone there. As I said I hadn't been a real part of her life in some years. I did a lot of wandering around this HUGE country bar alone. Her family and friends were as hospitable as could be expected but I really felt alone. Her ex husband was quite friendly and tried to "babysit" me. He and I shared tears together as they showed the slide show of her. Her children show no interest in knowing me. I know it uncomfortable for them though. I do understand. I stayed until about 11 and then said bye to her ex and seen myself to the door.
I was never so happy to see a bed in my life. I crashed.

I spent the next day (4th of July) on the beach relaxing in the sun and thinking of her. When time to leave there I realized I locked the keys in the rental car. Hectic!! There was an hour of waiting for triple A.

I spent that evening at my sisters best friends 4th of July bbq. Her and I talked about my sister for about an hour and she gave me mine and my dads share of her ashes.( I never knew anyone who was cremated but I still think it strange that they divided her ashes up into 20 small earns and distributed them through the family. ) We shared different stories about her and cried some then I left.

On my way back to the room I decided to drive by her house one last time. Then I decided to stop in the driveway and then decided to get out. I turned the door knob and it was open so I let myself in. The place was a disaster area. Most things have been moved out but "stuff" was just strewn about. I found a card from the man who killed her which expressed how much he loved her and wanted to take care of her forever. It was a very nice card and he couldn't have sounded like a nicer guy. It just makes me wonder how this much love could lead to such a tragic ending.

Though what he did was a terrible thing I have to believe that he was really sick and pray for his family too. My heart bleeds for all involved. It was a great loss, I'm sure for our family as well as his.

I left early the next morning and was glad to arrive back home the next day. I would be ask if I enjoyed my trip and my answer was no, not at all but I'm glad that went. I learned a lot and would like to become closer to those who were close to her, as dysfunctional as it all is.

I learned things about her brother that makes me feel the need to make him apart of my family. But that's all for another day.